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[Mette Ivie Harrison] õ Tris and Izzie [zambia PDF] Ebook Epub Download ½ Using the Melody of Friday by Rebecca Black Its Tris and Izzie, Gotta get down with Izzie Gotta make your mind up, which boy will you taaaaakeWell, the one that s mentioned in the cover you stupid.
I m not trying hate here, but I am going to be honest Here I go Reading Tris and Izzie was like listening to Rebecca Black s Friday, I was constantly stopping and asking myself, seriously this is for real I mean, seriously There were scenes that I guess were meant to be scary and to get my heart racing, but all I kept thinking was that it was so so so stupid I know it s harsh, but it really came out as dumb I thought the characters were inconsistent and Izzie was just very irrational and selfish All I wanted to yell at Izzie was to stop The novel circled around the good subject of Love and it tried to portray good points about what Love is, but I just think that it wasn t executed properly, because I really did saw potential, I strongly think that if the author had written the book in a slightly different way and probably re invented Izzie, the novel could have reached a much higher level Sadly, this was not the case, and the real result was a crappy novel Thanks to Netgalley I saved a few dollars, since the cover is so gorgeous, I m sure I would have bought it without thinking Took me Forever to read it I guess that if you liked Friday by Rebecca Black, this is for you If not then just don t get close to it O.
O A painfully amateurish effort that reads like the roughest of first drafts The YA equivalent of join the dots, only requiring less effort than that activity The writing is childish and reeks desperately of wanting to sound authentically teen but fails miserably It honestly reminded me of a story written by a primary school child, where every element is recited in the simplest and clunkiest manner The romance elements were handled even clumsily, leaving me with less than no sympathy for the characters who were annoying to begin with I may write a eloquent review later on but it doesn t feel right to waste my time on something so pointless Don t waste your time either.
Posted on Spoilers When I found out this book was up for review on NetGalley, I immediately snapped it up because I ve always been a massive fan of the story Tristan and Isolde.
.
however, I can honestly say I m definitely not a fan of this book.
Izzie is a witch, a young witch who doesn t really understand or know how to us her powers She s happily dating Mark, the captain of the Basketball team but when new boy Tristan starts school, she can t help think there s something about him While trying to pair her best friend Brangane and Tristan together, Izzie steals a love potion from her mother and tries to get both Brangane and Tristan to drink it But when Izzie accidently drinks it with Tristan, it leaves them bound together, falling in love and throwing them into the world of magic.
Firstly, don t let the blurb fool you This book sounds totally to die for but guess what, it s not Tris and Izzie is supposed to be a modern re telling of the German fairy tale but the only thing that was slightly similar to the original story was the names of the characters and Tristan s wasn t even his proper name To say the least I was than a little disappointed with this story I had seen a few negative reviews around before starting this book, so I did try and not let them affect my opinion on the story but it was so hard when you completely agree with the other people The story was not well developed, the characters were not well developed and the story was, in my opinion poorly written Don t get me wrong, I m not an expert books but when I look at some of the other books I ve read over the past few months and compare then, I can definitely spot the faults Izzie as a character, I found to be quiet annoying Mostly, all the way through with her match making and then her feelings towards Tristan She tries to fight her feelings but after taking the love potion their romance is pretty instant which I didn t like because it didn t feel right There was no suspense and then suddenly Tristan is declaring his love for Izzie but yet she is still in love with Mark She refuses to listen to the advice that people around her have given and pretty much sends Tristan away as soon as she realises there s something going on Only then to change her mind two seconds later once trouble arises The second issue I had was with Izzie and Mark who are supposed to be in true love so they claim However, as soon as Mark realises that Brangane is in love with him, with the snap of your fingers their suddenly declaring their love for one another and Izzie is giving her blessing It was honestly done within seconds and it was so totally unrealistic Then there s Tristan, strong and handsome Tristan Who all we actually really know about him is he has snow white hair and his name isn t actually Tristan The way his character comes across in the book, it totally out of place, his accent and way he talks, I just didn t get it and he s one character that just didn t do anything for me And finally, the magic in the story was another thing that felt out of place You re introduced to a magic community and demons that aren t interesting and aren t developed enough to make you truly understand the story In the end, I d read three quarters of the book and skipped to the last page to see what happens I just couldn t read it any longer.
Thinking back on the story now, it may suit a younger audience An audience that isn t going to want to much detail, maybe the age range of 11 16 years old but this book definitely wasn t for over 16 year olds Thank you NetGalley and Egmont for giving me to the opportunity to review this book.
If I dislike a book that much, a review can easily turn into a rant which isn t helpful for anyone, or particularly fair to the author, so I m going to try to exactly explain why I disliked Tris and Izzie I have to be honest and say the main reason is simply that I found it to be very poorly written.
The narration was child like, disjointed and repetitive, I think at one point the word magic was used around seven times within two short paragraphs There are several battle scenes but there was no sense of build up or tension and the action wasn t well written I never felt any fear for the characters, mainly because I didn t connect with any of them, but also because any danger they found themselves in was brief and too easily resolved.
Another issue was that the main protagonist was vapid and plain unlikable The story is narrated from Izzie s point of view and I honestly felt like I was reading some naive, vindictive child s thoughts Mel, a guy at school, annoys Izzie she doesn t like his jokes but other than that it doesn t appear that he s ever really spoken to her , so she is resolved to get her boyfriend the most popular guy in school to exile him No one will speak to him or be friends with him, without their permission She also thinks her best friend, Branna, needs a boyfriend, and so, disregarding the fact that a love potion can never be reversed, she decides she to slip one to her friend and the new guy, effectively taking away any romantic choice from Branna for the rest of her life.
There s nothing wrong at all with having a unlikeable lead character, if you have a quality piece of writing that can pull it off and that just isn t the case here Izzie s character was less interfering by the end of the story, though I can t say she matures in any way, rather she is preoccupied with Tristan, and the scenes between them get sappier and overblown as the book progresses.
Overall, there was little, to no, character development at all as far as I could see I can t really tell you anything about Tristan other than he has really blonde, almost white, hair, he s supposedly a warrior though we see very little evidence of this, nor do we learn anything about his powers , he speaks like a Victorian gentleman and is besotted with Izzie from the first moment he sees her I didn t get a feel for any of the characters whatsoever and so didn t care what happened to them None of them were realistic in any way Some really bizarre things happen in this book but nobody bats an eyelid.
The dialogue was stilted and just plain awkward to read, particularly Tristan s few lines The plot was all over the place and was ridiculous in places the story of how her parents met comes to mind, among other things , while making little sense in others view spoiler Magic I can believe in I can even believe just in a giant serpent demanding annual virgin sacrifices if a book is well written, has great characters and solid world building Tris and Izzie, sadly, lacked any of this and I was left exasperated, annoyed and faintly amused for the most part hide spoiler Using the Melody of Friday by Rebecca Black Its Tris and Izzie, Gotta get down with Izzie Gotta make your mind up, which boy will you taaaaakeWell, the one that s mentioned in the cover you stupid.
I m not trying hate here, but I am going to be honest Here I go Reading Tris and Izzie was like listening to Rebecca Black s Friday, I was constantly stopping and asking myself, seriously this is for real I mean, seriously There were scenes that I guess were meant to be scary and to get my heart racing, but all I kept thinking was that it was so so so stupid I know it s harsh, but it really came out as dumb I thought the characters were inconsistent and Izzie was just very irrational and selfish All I wanted to yell at Izzie was to stop The novel circled around the good subject of Love and it tried to portray good points about what Love is, but I just think that it wasn t executed properly, because I really did saw potential, I strongly think that if the author had written the book in a slightly different way and probably re invented Izzie, the novel could have reached a much higher level Sadly, this was not the case, and the real result was a crappy novel Thanks to Netgalley I saved a few dollars, since the cover is so gorgeous, I m sure I would have bought it without thinking Took me Forever to read it I guess that if you liked Friday by Rebecca Black, this is for you If not then just don t get close to it O.
O A painfully amateurish effort that reads like the roughest of first drafts The YA equivalent of join the dots, only requiring less effort than that activity The writing is childish and reeks desperately of wanting to sound authentically teen but fails miserably It honestly reminded me of a story written by a primary school child, where every element is recited in the simplest and clunkiest manner The romance elements were handled even clumsily, leaving me with less than no sympathy for the characters who were annoying to begin with I may write a eloquent review later on but it doesn t feel right to waste my time on something so pointless Don t waste your time either.
Posted on Spoilers When I found out this book was up for review on NetGalley, I immediately snapped it up because I ve always been a massive fan of the story Tristan and Isolde.
.
however, I can honestly say I m definitely not a fan of this book.
Izzie is a witch, a young witch who doesn t really understand or know how to us her powers She s happily dating Mark, the captain of the Basketball team but when new boy Tristan starts school, she can t help think there s something about him While trying to pair her best friend Brangane and Tristan together, Izzie steals a love potion from her mother and tries to get both Brangane and Tristan to drink it But when Izzie accidently drinks it with Tristan, it leaves them bound together, falling in love and throwing them into the world of magic.
Firstly, don t let the blurb fool you This book sounds totally to die for but guess what, it s not Tris and Izzie is supposed to be a modern re telling of the German fairy tale but the only thing that was slightly similar to the original story was the names of the characters and Tristan s wasn t even his proper name To say the least I was than a little disappointed with this story I had seen a few negative reviews around before starting this book, so I did try and not let them affect my opinion on the story but it was so hard when you completely agree with the other people The story was not well developed, the characters were not well developed and the story was, in my opinion poorly written Don t get me wrong, I m not an expert books but when I look at some of the other books I ve read over the past few months and compare then, I can definitely spot the faults Izzie as a character, I found to be quiet annoying Mostly, all the way through with her match making and then her feelings towards Tristan She tries to fight her feelings but after taking the love potion their romance is pretty instant which I didn t like because it didn t feel right There was no suspense and then suddenly Tristan is declaring his love for Izzie but yet she is still in love with Mark She refuses to listen to the advice that people around her have given and pretty much sends Tristan away as soon as she realises there s something going on Only then to change her mind two seconds later once trouble arises The second issue I had was with Izzie and Mark who are supposed to be in true love so they claim However, as soon as Mark realises that Brangane is in love with him, with the snap of your fingers their suddenly declaring their love for one another and Izzie is giving her blessing It was honestly done within seconds and it was so totally unrealistic Then there s Tristan, strong and handsome Tristan Who all we actually really know about him is he has snow white hair and his name isn t actually Tristan The way his character comes across in the book, it totally out of place, his accent and way he talks, I just didn t get it and he s one character that just didn t do anything for me And finally, the magic in the story was another thing that felt out of place You re introduced to a magic community and demons that aren t interesting and aren t developed enough to make you truly understand the story In the end, I d read three quarters of the book and skipped to the last page to see what happens I just couldn t read it any longer.
Thinking back on the story now, it may suit a younger audience An audience that isn t going to want to much detail, maybe the age range of 11 16 years old but this book definitely wasn t for over 16 year olds Thank you NetGalley and Egmont for giving me to the opportunity to review this book.
If I dislike a book that much, a review can easily turn into a rant which isn t helpful for anyone, or particularly fair to the author, so I m going to try to exactly explain why I disliked Tris and Izzie I have to be honest and say the main reason is simply that I found it to be very poorly written.
The narration was child like, disjointed and repetitive, I think at one point the word magic was used around seven times within two short paragraphs There are several battle scenes but there was no sense of build up or tension and the action wasn t well written I never felt any fear for the characters, mainly because I didn t connect with any of them, but also because any danger they found themselves in was brief and too easily resolved.
Another issue was that the main protagonist was vapid and plain unlikable The story is narrated from Izzie s point of view and I honestly felt like I was reading some naive, vindictive child s thoughts Mel, a guy at school, annoys Izzie she doesn t like his jokes but other than that it doesn t appear that he s ever really spoken to her , so she is resolved to get her boyfriend the most popular guy in school to exile him No one will speak to him or be friends with him, without their permission She also thinks her best friend, Branna, needs a boyfriend, and so, disregarding the fact that a love potion can never be reversed, she decides she to slip one to her friend and the new guy, effectively taking away any romantic choice from Branna for the rest of her life.
There s nothing wrong at all with having a unlikeable lead character, if you have a quality piece of writing that can pull it off and that just isn t the case here Izzie s character was less interfering by the end of the story, though I can t say she matures in any way, rather she is preoccupied with Tristan, and the scenes between them get sappier and overblown as the book progresses.
Overall, there was little, to no, character development at all as far as I could see I can t really tell you anything about Tristan other than he has really blonde, almost white, hair, he s supposedly a warrior though we see very little evidence of this, nor do we learn anything about his powers , he speaks like a Victorian gentleman and is besotted with Izzie from the first moment he sees her I didn t get a feel for any of the characters whatsoever and so didn t care what happened to them None of them were realistic in any way Some really bizarre things happen in this book but nobody bats an eyelid.
The dialogue was stilted and just plain awkward to read, particularly Tristan s few lines The plot was all over the place and was ridiculous in places the story of how her parents met comes to mind, among other things , while making little sense in others view spoiler Magic I can believe in I can even believe just in a giant serpent demanding annual virgin sacrifices if a book is well written, has great characters and solid world building Tris and Izzie, sadly, lacked any of this and I was left exasperated, annoyed and faintly amused for the most part hide spoiler Did not finishI was excited about this book Look at the cover, it s beautiful and romantic The story is supposed to be a retelling of the German folk tale Tristan and Isolde which I ve heard of but I didn t actually know the storyline I was very interested in it though because I am German.
So you can guess how happy I was when this popped up pre release date on Netgalley Unfortunately I had to put it down after 9 chapters which equals 75 pages which equals about 30% of the book I have two big problems that forced me to spend my precious reading time on worthier books.
Reason number one is the main character Izzie She s supposed to be 16 but she acts like a 12 year old Izzie annoyed me to no end She is selfish, arrogant, stupid, childish and has a very limited horizon Examples Here you go Her best friend Branna tells her about this guy Mel who supposedly uses magic Izzie doesn t like that because her mom is a witch and told her to always keep magic a secret , so she decides that her boyfriend Mark the most popular guy in school will exclude Mel from their clique Mark has that power, if he doesn t talk to Mel, soon no one will.
Next Izzie tries to find a boyfriend for her friend Branna who is very tall and athletic and yearns for a boyfriend and the love experience Izzie decides that a love potion will work best She tells Branna about it but the girl refuses the offer, she wants a boy to fall for her because of her, not because of a potion Izzie doesn t care She prepares a potion anyway and tries to get Branna to drink it Then we meet Tristan who is the new guy at Izzie s school and he talks really weird, I have no idea why Izzie dislikes him right away why but decides that he would make a good boyfriend for Branna What Exactly.
The other problem I had with the book was the magical aspect I don t mind magic in books, not at all but first of all I didn t expect it here I thought part of the retelling would be to get rid of any irrational explanation I could ve gone with the whole magic storyline if it hadn t felt so ridiculous Izzies mom is a witch but Izzie doesn t have any magic in her or so she thinks , later a two headed dog arrives, trying to kill Izzie and that s where I stopped.
If you want to buy this to put it on your shelf where it can look pretty, go ahead If you re looking for a sweet romantic fun retelling of Tristan and Isolde, look somewhere else.
WARNING THIS REVIEW CONTAINS EXTREMELY COARSE LANGUAGE, BUT REALLY, IN COMPARISON TO THE WRITING IN THIS BOOK, IT S NOT SO BAD IN ANY CASE, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED FOR BOTH THIS REVIEW DUE TO TO SAID STRONG LANGUAGE, AND THE BOOK DUE TO DISMAL WRITING TECHNIQUES.
PLEASE REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ON BOTH ACCOUNTS SIGH SIGH again another SIGH I would cry a trillion tears if I actually gave a shit about this book Can I just say WHAT A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT What a perfectly good waste of 3 hours of my life that I will NEVER get back again If this book was shit literally, because it already is figuratively you would need a fire ladder to get THAT high In fact, you wouldn t even think someone could pile shit THAT high, but let me tell you, this book does it with absolutely no qualms.
I shall begin with a comparison Tris and Izzie is like decorative fruit It looks exactly like the real thing gorgeous, plump and ripe with possibilities But what happens when you take a bite out of decorative fruit You find out its fake A measly imposter if you will that leaves a horrible taste in your mouth It s like that cheese you know the one that comes in individually wrapped pieces of plastic all special like and does a good impression of the real thing But in reality when it hits your taste buds you realize it tastes like crap It s the chocolate you know you shouldn t have, but it just looks SO tempting so you eat it anyways without thinking of the consequences It is the mother of all temptation, the queen of seduction, the greatest disguise ever seen THE BOOK IS THE FUCKING DEVIL.
It was essentially all dialogue with characters that had absolutely NOTHING worth of value to say Just clumsy lines with explanations on anything and everything that ultimately sounded really unnatural and artificial.
The worst part Characterization Oh, it was horrible.
Izzie was a mess She was just a tangled web of a character that had no personality whatsoever She was the main character, but I learnt about all the other characters from her POV than I did about her All I found out about her was that she had no morals when it came to her relationships kissing one guy with her boyfriend in the immediate vicinity , was completely clueless and self absorbed how do you not notice your BFF is in love with your boyfriend and that she was way too bossy Her relationship with Branna her best friend, was just appalling It was like they were Siamese twins trying to walk in 2 different directions Tristan Tantris Tris was extremely random He didn t feel like a real person to me and his relationships with the other characters was just awkward He also seemed to have a name problem where he had multiple names and answered to pretty much anything that confused me to no end At one point I thought he was 3 different people His and Izzie s relationship wasn t even a relationship, it was just a bunch of inappropriately timed kisses and I love you s thrown around when the plot line needed a change Branna was a pretentious bitch that appeared to have a psychological problem It was like she had dissociative identity disorder aka multiple personality disorder She started off kind of shy and silent with nothing to say But out of nowhere she was bitching to Izzie about how horrible a friend she was, and then a minute later she was her best friend again, full of loyalty and self sacrifice 2 minutes after that she was acting slutty and making out with Mel and then 5 minutes would pass and she was declaring her love to Mark and being all kissy kissy and perfect Plus, her supposed love for Mark came off as jealousy to me After they got together it was just physical and she didn t really show any strong emotions for him.
Mark was a bit too feminine for my liking He was the most emotional character in the novel and for a book that lacked any true emotion at all, that s not saying much He was sappy, whipped, had no personal goals and was all in all extremely boring which made him really unlikeable and not at all attractive And he was so gag me with an artificial sweetener already cheesy But the thing I hated most about him was his relationship with Izzie They were together after they broke up than when they were actually together As her boyfriend he had a bit of pervert moment, but after they were done he seemed caring and nicer to her than he ever was with Branna.
What makes this so upsetting is that I had high expectations for this book I would have been fine if it hadn t made them, but the degree as to how much this book sucked crap is huge And so I leave you with this statement This book just sucked on all counts except for the cover I mean IT SUCKED BIG VACUUM A quote which pretty much displays how horrible this book was I can t subject anyone to a quote That would just be plain cruel.
A Modern Retelling Of The German Fairytale Tristan And Isolde , Tris and Izzie Is About A Young Witch Named Izzie Who Is Dating Mark King, The Captain Of The Basketball Team And Thinks Her Life Is Going Swimmingly Well Until She Makes A Love Potion For Her Best Friend Brangane And Then Ends Up Taking It Herself Accidentally, And Falling In Love With Tristan, The New Guy At School I ve been trying to figure out a way to describe the overall problem with this book in how the story came across and I finally think I ve got it Bear with me.
Have you ever listened to young girls playing dress up They are happy and energetic so everything is overlaid with that girlish energy It often goes something like this We re princesses And we re sad because the evil dragon killed our father, says Girl 1 with a big smile on her face And we have to find Prince Charming to kill the dragon adds Girl 2, grinning We both meet handsome princes and they love us than anything But one of them is married to an evil witch interjects Girl 1 giddily And we help them kill her and then we re all happy but my prince tells me he loves you and your prince tells you he loves me And we realize that we loved them the whole time too And then our mom dies and we re sad, Girl 2 adds exuberantly.
And so on.
This is the problem with Tris Izzie.
Almost every aspect of character, relationship and emotion was told to the reader, not shown, even when there were great opportunities to build it into to story Also, like with the little girls playing dress up, everything was delivered in the same emotional tone by the narrator, Izzie Her reactions and emotions didn t fluctuate, whether she was talking about a pretty dress or her best friend being mortally wounded Regarding all of the characters, none of them were believable because they were just place fillers throughout Never once did I get a sense of actual character i.
e motivations, personality traits, behaviors , and nothing about the story made me sympathize, empathize, or root for them She does however succeed in making me dislike almost everyone because of the limited actions and behaviors we do get to see during the story Izzie doesn t even feel like a real person and she is the one telling the story None of her supposed emotional attachments and bonds with others actually rang true, and her narrative was at best disorganized and irrelevant, at worst painful to read The narrative had the randomness of stream of consciousness but none of the intention required to master a style like that, and I never got the impression that Harrison was trying to create that feel All it effectively did was create a giant disconnect between the narrator and what was happening in the story, and therefor a giant disconnect between the narrator and the reader I think the reason this was such an issue is that Harrison didn t create a genuine, whole character in Izzie.
Half the time her thoughts were severely juvenile and selfish, even for a 16 year old to the extent that I was genuinely offended on behalf of myself and every person who is, was, or will be a teen girl , and the other half of the time her inner monologue sounded like an adult parent who has completely forgotten she was ever a teen, much less what it s like to think and act as a teen Her inner monologue was also repetitive in an inartistic way and contradictory not in a cognitively dissonant way All of the dialogue was pointless in terms of progressing the story either through character development, relationship building, or plot progression , and was mostly a bunch of trite nonsense that sounds nothing like how people actually speak A lot of the time the subject of the conversation didn t even coincide with the conversation thread Characters said things that made no sense or drew conclusions that had no support in motivation or behavior It felt like a very failed attempt at generating emotional angst and was far too little too late.
The plot really only related to the story of Tristan Isolde in that she retained character names and there was a love potion view spoiler Although it s not really a love potion we re just supposed to believe that Tristan and Izzie fall head over heels immediately And I do mean IMMEDIATELY hide spoiler Know how your mom told you that you can t judge a book by its cover That s exactly the way I feel about Tris and Izzie You ve seen the cover, right It s beautiful I just think that it would be even better if the cover had something to do with the contents of the book.
Maybe that s just me.
Enough about the cover I guess I should tell you what I thought of the book First of all, if I could give this zero stars, I would I found it to be incoherent at best, not to mention condescending I would have flounced well before page 63, but I wanted to believe that there would be something anything that I found redeemable about the characters or the ill contrived plot.
Don t get me wrong I m sure Mette Ivie Harrison is a lovely person, and judging by all of the wonderful reviews she s gotten for her previous works, she must be a good writer So I don t know what the hell happened with this book Like Anna said in her review, I feel I was genuinely offended on behalf of myself and every person who is, was, or will be a teen girl Is this book really representative of what readers and by extension, the general population think about the inner musings of teenage girls That they are all vapid, shallow self centered people, focused solely on their attire and who their boyfriend is I m not kidding I m shocked at the acceptance of this notion It s disgusting, to be honest, and I seriously want to talk to all of the people who gave this book five stars Maybe they could point out the epic love story and amazingness that I totally missed.
Isolde was hot and cold, fickle minded, and downright shallow Her thought process wasn t even as developed as the average ten year old She had such potential to be someone and do something yet, she always had her attire or the way her butt looked in her shorts to allow us any connection to her character She whined She blamed everyone else for everything that was happening to her Her fight with her best friend was epically stupid, and she had almost no reaction whatsoever to the prospect of almost losing her The other characters fell flat for me, except perhaps the giant Tristan was weak and cold and their relationship seemed forced literally.
In case you think that I couldn t find anything not one little thing to point out that I liked about this book, well, you re almost right But there was one part of dialogue that I enjoyed Do you burn for me A volcano That s all I ve got, folks It depresses me that I wasted my time reading this, and really, I hope you won t make the same mistake.
Beautiful cover, you have misled me again The stars you see above are due mainly to the beautiful cover and sporadic moments of me actually laughing at what came out of Izzie s mouth It s characters, none did I like Izzie is self absorbed and totally unaware of everyone else around her Her bestfriend is scheming and blames everyone else for her troubles Tristan sounds robotic, but at least there s a reason for that And Marc whom I thought was going to be one of the better parts of the books does something that I find unexcusable Specifically, Izzie is so clueless that by chapter four she still couldn t get it wrapped around her head that view spoiler her BFF was in love with her BF hide spoiler



WARNING THIS REVIEW CONTAINS EXTREMELY COARSE LANGUAGE, BUT REALLY, IN COMPARISON TO THE WRITING IN THIS BOOK, IT S NOT SO BAD IN ANY CASE, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED FOR BOTH THIS REVIEW DUE TO TO SAID STRONG LANGUAGE, AND THE BOOK DUE TO DISMAL WRITING TECHNIQUES.
PLEASE REMEMBER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ON BOTH ACCOUNTS SIGH SIGH again another SIGH I would cry a trillion tears if I actually gave a shit about this book Can I just say WHAT A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT What a perfectly good waste of 3 hours of my life that I will NEVER get back again If this book was shit literally, because it already is figuratively you would need a fire ladder to get THAT high In fact, you wouldn t even think someone could pile shit THAT high, but let me tell you, this book does it with absolutely no qualms.
I shall begin with a comparison Tris and Izzie is like decorative fruit It looks exactly like the real thing gorgeous, plump and ripe with possibilities But what happens when you take a bite out of decorative fruit You find out its fake A measly imposter if you will that leaves a horrible taste in your mouth It s like that cheese you know the one that comes in individually wrapped pieces of plastic all special like and does a good impression of the real thing But in reality when it hits your taste buds you realize it tastes like crap It s the chocolate you know you shouldn t have, but it just looks SO tempting so you eat it anyways without thinking of the consequences It is the mother of all temptation, the queen of seduction, the greatest disguise ever seen THE BOOK IS THE FUCKING DEVIL.
It was essentially all dialogue with characters that had absolutely NOTHING worth of value to say Just clumsy lines with explanations on anything and everything that ultimately sounded really unnatural and artificial.
The worst part Characterization Oh, it was horrible.
Izzie was a mess She was just a tangled web of a character that had no personality whatsoever She was the main character, but I learnt about all the other characters from her POV than I did about her All I found out about her was that she had no morals when it came to her relationships kissing one guy with her boyfriend in the immediate vicinity , was completely clueless and self absorbed how do you not notice your BFF is in love with your boyfriend and that she was way too bossy Her relationship with Branna her best friend, was just appalling It was like they were Siamese twins trying to walk in 2 different directions Tristan Tantris Tris was extremely random He didn t feel like a real person to me and his relationships with the other characters was just awkward He also seemed to have a name problem where he had multiple names and answered to pretty much anything that confused me to no end At one point I thought he was 3 different people His and Izzie s relationship wasn t even a relationship, it was just a bunch of inappropriately timed kisses and I love you s thrown around when the plot line needed a change Branna was a pretentious bitch that appeared to have a psychological problem It was like she had dissociative identity disorder aka multiple personality disorder She started off kind of shy and silent with nothing to say But out of nowhere she was bitching to Izzie about how horrible a friend she was, and then a minute later she was her best friend again, full of loyalty and self sacrifice 2 minutes after that she was acting slutty and making out with Mel and then 5 minutes would pass and she was declaring her love to Mark and being all kissy kissy and perfect Plus, her supposed love for Mark came off as jealousy to me After they got together it was just physical and she didn t really show any strong emotions for him.
Mark was a bit too feminine for my liking He was the most emotional character in the novel and for a book that lacked any true emotion at all, that s not saying much He was sappy, whipped, had no personal goals and was all in all extremely boring which made him really unlikeable and not at all attractive And he was so gag me with an artificial sweetener already cheesy But the thing I hated most about him was his relationship with Izzie They were together after they broke up than when they were actually together As her boyfriend he had a bit of pervert moment, but after they were done he seemed caring and nicer to her than he ever was with Branna.
What makes this so upsetting is that I had high expectations for this book I would have been fine if it hadn t made them, but the degree as to how much this book sucked crap is huge And so I leave you with this statement This book just sucked on all counts except for the cover I mean IT SUCKED BIG VACUUM A quote which pretty much displays how horrible this book was I can t subject anyone to a quote That would just be plain cruel.
Did not finishI was excited about this book Look at the cover, it s beautiful and romantic The story is supposed to be a retelling of the German folk tale Tristan and Isolde which I ve heard of but I didn t actually know the storyline I was very interested in it though because I am German.
So you can guess how happy I was when this popped up pre release date on Netgalley Unfortunately I had to put it down after 9 chapters which equals 75 pages which equals about 30% of the book I have two big problems that forced me to spend my precious reading time on worthier books.
Reason number one is the main character Izzie She s supposed to be 16 but she acts like a 12 year old Izzie annoyed me to no end She is selfish, arrogant, stupid, childish and has a very limited horizon Examples Here you go Her best friend Branna tells her about this guy Mel who supposedly uses magic Izzie doesn t like that because her mom is a witch and told her to always keep magic a secret , so she decides that her boyfriend Mark the most popular guy in school will exclude Mel from their clique Mark has that power, if he doesn t talk to Mel, soon no one will.
Next Izzie tries to find a boyfriend for her friend Branna who is very tall and athletic and yearns for a boyfriend and the love experience Izzie decides that a love potion will work best She tells Branna about it but the girl refuses the offer, she wants a boy to fall for her because of her, not because of a potion Izzie doesn t care She prepares a potion anyway and tries to get Branna to drink it Then we meet Tristan who is the new guy at Izzie s school and he talks really weird, I have no idea why Izzie dislikes him right away why but decides that he would make a good boyfriend for Branna What Exactly.
The other problem I had with the book was the magical aspect I don t mind magic in books, not at all but first of all I didn t expect it here I thought part of the retelling would be to get rid of any irrational explanation I could ve gone with the whole magic storyline if it hadn t felt so ridiculous Izzies mom is a witch but Izzie doesn t have any magic in her or so she thinks , later a two headed dog arrives, trying to kill Izzie and that s where I stopped.
If you want to buy this to put it on your shelf where it can look pretty, go ahead If you re looking for a sweet romantic fun retelling of Tristan and Isolde, look somewhere else.
I ve been trying to figure out a way to describe the overall problem with this book in how the story came across and I finally think I ve got it Bear with me.
Have you ever listened to young girls playing dress up They are happy and energetic so everything is overlaid with that girlish energy It often goes something like this We re princesses And we re sad because the evil dragon killed our father, says Girl 1 with a big smile on her face And we have to find Prince Charming to kill the dragon adds Girl 2, grinning We both meet handsome princes and they love us than anything But one of them is married to an evil witch interjects Girl 1 giddily And we help them kill her and then we re all happy but my prince tells me he loves you and your prince tells you he loves me And we realize that we loved them the whole time too And then our mom dies and we re sad, Girl 2 adds exuberantly.
And so on.
This is the problem with Tris Izzie.
Almost every aspect of character, relationship and emotion was told to the reader, not shown, even when there were great opportunities to build it into to story Also, like with the little girls playing dress up, everything was delivered in the same emotional tone by the narrator, Izzie Her reactions and emotions didn t fluctuate, whether she was talking about a pretty dress or her best friend being mortally wounded Regarding all of the characters, none of them were believable because they were just place fillers throughout Never once did I get a sense of actual character i.
e motivations, personality traits, behaviors , and nothing about the story made me sympathize, empathize, or root for them She does however succeed in making me dislike almost everyone because of the limited actions and behaviors we do get to see during the story Izzie doesn t even feel like a real person and she is the one telling the story None of her supposed emotional attachments and bonds with others actually rang true, and her narrative was at best disorganized and irrelevant, at worst painful to read The narrative had the randomness of stream of consciousness but none of the intention required to master a style like that, and I never got the impression that Harrison was trying to create that feel All it effectively did was create a giant disconnect between the narrator and what was happening in the story, and therefor a giant disconnect between the narrator and the reader I think the reason this was such an issue is that Harrison didn t create a genuine, whole character in Izzie.
Half the time her thoughts were severely juvenile and selfish, even for a 16 year old to the extent that I was genuinely offended on behalf of myself and every person who is, was, or will be a teen girl , and the other half of the time her inner monologue sounded like an adult parent who has completely forgotten she was ever a teen, much less what it s like to think and act as a teen Her inner monologue was also repetitive in an inartistic way and contradictory not in a cognitively dissonant way All of the dialogue was pointless in terms of progressing the story either through character development, relationship building, or plot progression , and was mostly a bunch of trite nonsense that sounds nothing like how people actually speak A lot of the time the subject of the conversation didn t even coincide with the conversation thread Characters said things that made no sense or drew conclusions that had no support in motivation or behavior It felt like a very failed attempt at generating emotional angst and was far too little too late.
The plot really only related to the story of Tristan Isolde in that she retained character names and there was a love potion view spoiler Although it s not really a love potion we re just supposed to believe that Tristan and Izzie fall head over heels immediately And I do mean IMMEDIATELY hide spoiler Know how your mom told you that you can t judge a book by its cover That s exactly the way I feel about Tris and Izzie You ve seen the cover, right It s beautiful I just think that it would be even better if the cover had something to do with the contents of the book.
Maybe that s just me.
Enough about the cover I guess I should tell you what I thought of the book First of all, if I could give this zero stars, I would I found it to be incoherent at best, not to mention condescending I would have flounced well before page 63, but I wanted to believe that there would be something anything that I found redeemable about the characters or the ill contrived plot.
Don t get me wrong I m sure Mette Ivie Harrison is a lovely person, and judging by all of the wonderful reviews she s gotten for her previous works, she must be a good writer So I don t know what the hell happened with this book Like Anna said in her review, I feel I was genuinely offended on behalf of myself and every person who is, was, or will be a teen girl Is this book really representative of what readers and by extension, the general population think about the inner musings of teenage girls That they are all vapid, shallow self centered people, focused solely on their attire and who their boyfriend is I m not kidding I m shocked at the acceptance of this notion It s disgusting, to be honest, and I seriously want to talk to all of the people who gave this book five stars Maybe they could point out the epic love story and amazingness that I totally missed.
Isolde was hot and cold, fickle minded, and downright shallow Her thought process wasn t even as developed as the average ten year old She had such potential to be someone and do something yet, she always had her attire or the way her butt looked in her shorts to allow us any connection to her character She whined She blamed everyone else for everything that was happening to her Her fight with her best friend was epically stupid, and she had almost no reaction whatsoever to the prospect of almost losing her The other characters fell flat for me, except perhaps the giant Tristan was weak and cold and their relationship seemed forced literally.
In case you think that I couldn t find anything not one little thing to point out that I liked about this book, well, you re almost right But there was one part of dialogue that I enjoyed Do you burn for me A volcano That s all I ve got, folks It depresses me that I wasted my time reading this, and really, I hope you won t make the same mistake.
Beautiful cover, you have misled me again The stars you see above are due mainly to the beautiful cover and sporadic moments of me actually laughing at what came out of Izzie s mouth It s characters, none did I like Izzie is self absorbed and totally unaware of everyone else around her Her bestfriend is scheming and blames everyone else for her troubles Tristan sounds robotic, but at least there s a reason for that And Marc whom I thought was going to be one of the better parts of the books does something that I find unexcusable Specifically, Izzie is so clueless that by chapter four she still couldn t get it wrapped around her head that view spoiler her BFF was in love with her BF hide spoiler

My name is pronounced Metty like my mother s Betty It is Danish, and we were all named after ancestors I guess by the time they got to number nine out of eleven , it was getting tricky So I got the funny Danish name no one knew how to prounounce In Denmark, it should be meta like metaphysical It s from the Greek for pearl And no, it s not short for anything Not even Mediterannean